Finding My Footing

If you have a mental illness that requires medication, you understand those intense first two weeks when you start a new medication. It is like you are trying to balance on a tightrope where one side is the fear of becoming an emotionless zombie while the other is the fear of the medication not working at all. Side effects are the worst during those first two weeks before they begin to fade as the medicine begins to work. My new anxiety medication caused me to have some emotional moments that lasted longer than the other effects so, I decided to add CBD oil to my routine. I know what you are thinking, oh man this must be a weird post that is meant to boost the popularity of CBD oil, this is not that kind of post at all. Sure, the oil works well with my medication and helped me regain my stride but it is not meant to replace my medication. My anxiety would literally cause me to feel like I can’t breathe, my hands would shake, and my mind was a cruel place. The thought of possibly going back to that dark place if I couldn’t get past this scared the hell out of me. Thankfully, with the addition of CBD, meditation, and having a kickass support system, I was able to push through and regain my footing!

So, my lovely readers, I wanted you to know that the tight rope of balancing your brain can be excruciating but, once you get past it you will feel so much better. I read somewhere that medication is a pair a glasses for your brain, it fixes the chemical imbalance and can help you regain clarity. Now, I need to tell you that if those major side effects last longer than two weeks you need to visit your doctor and have your medication adjusted. Finding the right medication can take time but it is worth it once you find the perfect fit.

Regaining something you never realized you lost is a strange feeling. I did not realize I lost my creative stride and motivation again until a few days ago. A few months ago, you couldn’t even force me to sit and write. Now, I can write almost four thousand words a day again! Finding my perfect combination for my routine really helped me find myself again. Hopefully, if you are fighting your own mental battles, this post inspires you to take that next step. See the Doctor, cut the negativity out of your life, reach out to loved ones, or just get out of bed. I know you can regain your footing, if you need help or someone to talk to, reach out to me.

I will always be here for y’all!

🌻 Caitlin 🌻

Here is a photo of Bruce to help inspire you!

Zena The Catalina

While other macaws were born into warm and happy homes, Zena was born in a cold fireplace. The people that were supposed to care for her brood had no experience, her mother attacked her leaving one foot with no toes, and malnutrition made her look like a newborn when she was actually older with only a mohawk of feathers on her head. These people took her to a bird shop where the owners rescued her and helped give her the attention and care she needed. Zena would be her name and she would not give up her fight for life so easily. It took time but she was able to conquer so much like learning to perch with no toes, growing her feathers, and recovering from the effects of malnoutrition. One day, a family that had come in almost every day and knew this warrior decided it was time to take her home. 

Zena is turning eleven this year, she has a whole flock of birds, a blue and gold boyfriend,  and a loving family that is giving her the life she deserves.  Don’t let her nubby foot deceive you either, she rules the perch and is not afraid to smack the other birds or people. Who knew that a bird with no toes on her foot could climb down her perch and walk so quickly?

I hope y’all enjoyed learning about Zena! Every week, I will share the story of one of the members of my animal family. My animals are everything to me and I can’t wait for y’all to get to know all of them ❤️

You can find more content like this on my Patreon as well, click here!

🌻Caitlin🌻

A Curious Update

How can so many changes occur of the course of a month? Journeys, breakdowns, and discoveries helped shape my creative course during the month of June! After seeing how many of y’all loved my personal musings about my battle with anxiety , I have decided to shake things up. Gone is the cookie cutter blog and I am going back to my roots by sharing my personal thoughts and struggles.

I also want to announce that I have a Facebook Page and a Patreon!

If you want to support me on Patreon you will gain access to some incredible writing content, photos of my animals, and you can even receive monthly postcards or packages from me!

Click here to go to my Patreon

Click here to go to my FaceBook Page

Can’t wait to share my writing with y’all!

🌻Caitlin🌻

I Am Not Okay

I am not okay, I finally  realized this after trying to deal with my mental health for the past 3-4 months. At first, I thought it was just stress from all of the issues happening in my personal life. I kept thinking it was going to get better, that I have to be strong for the ones I care about. It never got better, anxiety crept back in and depression swept me away. I was numb, tired, and all of the projects I had been working on simply fell apart. My writing suffered, my loved ones had to watch me fall apart, and I kept fighting my monsters alone.

Going to the doctor was something I feared but I knew seeking help was necessary if I wanted to regain my spark. Not going to lie, I cried at least four different times while telling my doctor what has been happening and she calmed me down before telling me it was going to be okay. The medication I was on is apparently notorious for failing to work in the long run. All I had to do was take the first dose of my new medication and it felt like  I could breathe. The feelings that had consumed me have been calmed and I could actually go to sleep without worrying about everything. I can’t wait to finally regain my spark, to be able to enjoy the world again, and finish my novel. It does get better, you just have to accept that you can’t fight this alone and to always monitor how effective your medicine is.

I guess I wrote this because so at least one person can learn that it is okay to not be okay. Medicine can fail, things change, and it is important to realize when you need help.  Also, I needed to explain why I dropped off the face of the Earth on here! I will keep you updated as I adjust to this new medication and hopefully I will be sharing some amazing content with y’all!

I hope y’all have an amazingly literary day,

Caitlin ❤️

P.S. If any of y’all are going through a tough spot in your life and need someone to talk to, just let me know so we can connect. You are not alone

5 Tips For Traveling With Anxiety

Back in 2018, I made a huge step towards conquering my anxiety when I traveled to Ireland and New York City! Traveling has always been something that causes an extreme amount of stress, so this was like a test to see just how much progress I have made since my major anxiety attack I had a few years ago. The trips were amazing and I am happy to say that I will be traveling again soon!


During my adventures I was able to figure out a few tips and tricks to help make the journeys less stressful on me and keep my anxiety from flaring up, which is why I decided to create this amazing post! If you suffer from anxiety and are looking for ways to travel safely and enjoy yourself, this post is for you!

Here are my 5 tips for traveling with anxiety:

1. Make sure to pack enough medication to last at least 20 days after the end date of your trip and keep it in your carry on!
Anything can happened on a trip and it bringing along extra medication ensures that you can handle any situation thrown your way. Keeping it in your carry on eliminates the extra stress of worrying about it being lost in your checked bag.

 2. Remember to keep your loved ones updated!
I found it helpful to call my parents or at least send them photos almost everyday. If your anxiety was acting up during the day, you can talk about it with your support system back home and hopefully help you relax more and keep your anxiety at bay.

3. Keep a few of your favorite podcasts, audiobooks, or songs on your phone/iPod!
Sometimes, the world can be a little too much to handle. If you are feeling overwhelmed while walking around a strange city, pop in your headphones and listen to a few of your favorite things! My personal go to is the My Favorite Murder Podcast, I love being able to tune out the anxiety by listening to my favorite podcasts, especially while I am stressed out on the plane.

4. Travel in a group!
You don’t have to travel alone, traveling with others can help you lose track of your anxiety and embrace the experience with friends. Traveling with friends or even making friends within a travel group can help you create a support group that you can turn to if your anxiety is having a severe flare up during your trip.

5. Remember to breathe!
Breathe, you are going on a trip that could change your life. Enjoy the experience and don’t let your anxiety flare up. When it starts to emerge , focus on the beautiful surroundings and the different people. Be proud of yourself, you managed to conquer your anxiety and leave your home to go on a grand adventure!

I hope these tips help calm your travel anxiety a bit. Traveling is a stressful process but just know that you can handle it! Seeing the world will help broaden your horizons and introduce you to new experiences, people, and allow you to create memories. Time to use these tips and leave your comfort zone!

Have a wonderfully literary day!
~Caitlin~

Resolutions, Goals, and Dreaming of 2018

The end of 2017 is approaching and now is the time to set resolutions and goals for the upcoming year. Surprisingly, 2017 has been incredible to me. I have written more than ever and I have completely turned my mental and physical health around. I am determined to continue making progress in 2018 and I hope that all of you do the same! I discuss my 2017 more in my post here~

2017

Now that my year in review is out of the way it is now time to plan for 2018. I am an optimist so I can’t help but have a ton of resolutions, goals, and dreams for the upcoming year. Setting resolutions is one thing but keeping up with them is a battle and I determined to actually stick to them while crushing my goals for 2018! I am not to going to lie, picking  resolutions for the next year was actually kind of difficult. I had to sit down and really think about what I planned to accomplish next year and how these resolutions will help me meet my goals and hopefully achieve my dreams.

2018 REsolutions

My 2018 Resolutions help make me continue my journey to becoming healthier and also try to keep me from becoming a hermit. I also decided to actually try to go on more adventures and make some amazing memories in 2018. I am positive that I can stick to my resolutions and crush my goals!

2018 Goals

Goals, goals, goals! I can’t wait to crush my goals and achieve my dreams. I decided to buckle down and work hard to achieve my dreams of publishing, traveling, and living a more creative life.

2018 Goals-3

Dreams are a lot harder to reach but I am determined to achieve at least one of my dreams in 2018!

Publishing a novel has been my dream for as long as I can remember. After crushing my 2017 word count goals, I am more determined than ever to publish one if not both of my novels by the end of 2018. It is quite the mouthful but I can handle it and I can’t wait to finally share my literary worlds with everyone.
Ireland is one of the places that I have always wanted to visit. My family’s ancestors are from there and I am in love with the mythology and fairy tales that are woven into the rich history of the country. I want to visit Ireland so I can appreciate where I came from and also visit one of the towns that I am writing about in my novel.
I have been wanting to see the Grand Canyon and since I live in Texas, the drive would be excruciatingly long. Going on an epic road trip has always been on my bucket list so I want to finally cross it off by going on a journey to the Grand Canyon.

I hope ya’ll enjoyed learning more about me and that you also decide to make 2018 your year. Chase those dreams, make those important lifestyle changes, and crush all of the obstacles that stand in your way. 2018 is the year for the dreamers and I can’t wait to see what the year has in store.

Have a wonderfully literary day and I will see all of you in the new year!

~Caitlin~

Holiday Reflection

The holiday season is full of love, celebration, and reflection.  I can’t help but realize just how blessed I am. I am surrounded by friends and family that support my writing career and mental health journey. If someone had told me six months ago that I would be in this amazing place in my life, I would have called them a liar.  I am honestly happy that I have let go of my toxic and negative past and have embraced the bright future in front of me. My best friend from childhood reconnected with me recently as well and for this first time in a long time I am actually happy with how my year has turned out.

So many wonderful things have happened over this past year including:

  1. I graduated college!
  2. I started medication that helped me manage my anxiety!
  3. I have written a good chunk of my pirate novel!
  4. I  started to take better care of myself!

It may not seem like a lot, but I feel like I have conquered so much this past year. If 2018 is anything like 2017 then I can honestly say I am ready for the new year. Sure, there were a lot of times where I honestly doubted myself. It can be hard to fight the feeling of doubt but I did and now I am ending this year on a positive note. When it comes to the holiday season, you can use this time to ignore your doubt and look around. You are surrounded by the people that love and care about you  and that can be the boost you need to break through that wall of doubt. If you are alone this holiday season just know that I am here for you. I am supportive of whatever your dreams and goals are and you are more than welcome to connect through comments below so we can have our own little literary tribe.

My Bookmas Tree
My Bookmas Tree

I am going to wrap this up now so I can get back to my little Christmas celebration! hope ya’ll have the happiest of holidays and keep an eye out for more posts in the future!

Enjoy this picture of my Bookmas Tree~

Have a wonderfully literary day!

~Caitlin

3 Tips That Will Help You Recover From A Failed Writing Partnership

Hello World!

When you have a falling out with your writing partner that is also your friend it can honestly feel like the world is ending. At least that is how I felt. It didn’t help that the friendship I was in crashed and burned as well, so there will never be any form of reconciliation. Knowing that the project that you and the other person were working on will be on a permanent hiatus can be heartbreaking.

That is why I decided to share a few of the things that helped me recover from the pain and move on. Hopefully you can use these 3 tips and be able to successfully get over that creative break up and move on to other creative projects!

Now, lets dive in!

1.  The first tip is to take a breath and grieve. The one thing I wished I knew earlier was that it is okay to be upset. Taking some time to really grasp the situation can  help you accept what happened and allow you to let go of the negative emotions that you may be feeling. After you have taken this time to grieve you can move on to the next step of your creative recovery.

2. The next step is to decide if the project the two of you were working on was something you were passionate about. Depending on how  you feel about the project you can decide if you want to put the extra effort into making the project your own.

3. This step can be extremely time-consuming but it is crucial that you change every aspect of the story. You have to get rid of everything that you and your old writing partner worked on so that they can’t come after you legally. By doing this you also make the story your own and rework everything into something that you can be proud of. This step also helps you cleanse your creative brain of the old story and allow you to devote yourself to a new project.

     Here are a few things that you should remember to change when you are at  this step:

~ Any plot developments you developed together

~ Character personalities, appearances, and back stories

 ~ Anything created while you were world building

Those were 3 tips that helped me along my creativity recovery. I still can’t believe that it has taken me so long to finally move on from what happened but I guess that is how life works. Friendships end and you can be left picking up the pieces but everything happens for a reason. Sure, that project could have been awesome but now you have the opportunity to create a story that you are passionate about and allow your creativity to blossom.

I wrote this post because, in all honesty, I wished I had something like this when my creative break-up was fresh. The pain that accompanies any break is hard but you will survive.

Here is a quote to close out this post:

“It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.”

Ernie Harwell

I hope y’all found this post helpful and I hope y’all have a wonderfully literary day

~Caitlin

Creativity is Calling

Hello World!

It has been a while since I posted on my lovely blog. Life has a crazy way of throwing curveballs at you sometimes. Don’t Worry! Everything is sorted out now and I have finally let go of the self-doubt and pain that had been holding me down. It is always hard to move on from a friendship, especially if the person was someone you were supposed to co-write an amazing story with. I know, I talk about this novel a lot on here, but until recently the story and the amazing world I co-created had been haunting me. A few weeks ago my creativity called out to me and I realized that there was a way I could write about my little world. I took a new approach and changed just about everything about the old project. Unwanted characters were taken out while others were remade, the plot was completely re-worked, and I molded the world into what I wanted it to be. The story finally became mine and I am in love with the revamped novel that I am now working on.

To be honest, I love this new world I made more than my old project. There is more magic and grit along with a complex cast that is fun to write. I guess I wrote this post to show y’all that I am still here and to share how much my creativity has been flowing lately.  It is possible to move on from a failed writing partnership, it may be extremely difficult and emotionally taxing but it is possible. There are absolutely no remnants of the old story in my new world and I am actually excited to be working on this lovely adventure along with my other writing projects!

That is it for my little life update for y’all today and I am happy to be writing and creating again! Look out for some awesome new content!

Have a wonderfully literary day!

~Caitlin~

My Return to The Blogiverse!

Hello World!

I know, it has been a while since I have posted on my lovely blog. Good News! I am back from my little hiatus and I plan on being more active with my posting schedule!

A lot has happened since I have posted on here in December:

  •  I tried to start a fancy paid blog and I hated it so that is over.
  • My anxiety had been acting up since my major attack last May and around late January I decided that I was tired of being paranoid and crying everyday due to me feeling like I was always stressed and that the world was against me, so I finally went to the doctor and they helped me tremendously.
  • Because of my little meltdown, my schoolwork and writing life fell out of balance and to be honest I felt like I was losing control of my life so I had to get that balance back.

 

Everything is ok now! I have been on my medication for almost three months and I have finally regained control over my emotions and have rediscovered  the balance between school and writing again! To be completely honest, I feel rejuvenated , like I have regained my sanity and I am kicking myself of not doing this years ago. Since I am no longer stressing out, panicking, or feeling paranoid 24/7 , I can officially say that I am back! I can’t wait to share my musings with y’all!

 

Happy Reading!

~Caitlin