New Year, New Resolutions!

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday season! Usually, my anxiety flares up around this time of the year and I end up being miserable but everything went smoothly and my anxiety was kept in check! Now that 2020 has finally arrived I have made the decision to really buckle down and focus more on my writing. My self doubt monster had snuck up on me again but I realized that it is literally now or never. The only way I will ever get any writing done is by actually doing it.


That being said, I also realized that I need to keep two different categories for my writing and non-writing resolutions. This is to keep me from feeling too overwhelmed and I feel like this would be there best way to go!

Here are my Resolutions for 2020

  1. Become more consistent with my blog!
  2. Remember to actually write the reviews for books after I have finished reading them!
  3. Finish my damn book!
  1. Stay on top of my routines!
  2. Practice self-care!
  3. Grow my presence on Instagram and Pinterest!

Can you tell that I am trying to fix my consistency? I have always been horrible about keeping to my routines which has an effect on my anxiety. Hopefully being able to actually enforce a routine will allow me to crush my goals and improve my mental health!


I hope y’all enjoyed reading about my resolutions for the year! Feel free to share your resolutions in the comments!

~Caitlin~

Finding My Footing

If you have a mental illness that requires medication, you understand those intense first two weeks when you start a new medication. It is like you are trying to balance on a tightrope where one side is the fear of becoming an emotionless zombie while the other is the fear of the medication not working at all. Side effects are the worst during those first two weeks before they begin to fade as the medicine begins to work. My new anxiety medication caused me to have some emotional moments that lasted longer than the other effects so, I decided to add CBD oil to my routine. I know what you are thinking, oh man this must be a weird post that is meant to boost the popularity of CBD oil, this is not that kind of post at all. Sure, the oil works well with my medication and helped me regain my stride but it is not meant to replace my medication. My anxiety would literally cause me to feel like I can’t breathe, my hands would shake, and my mind was a cruel place. The thought of possibly going back to that dark place if I couldn’t get past this scared the hell out of me. Thankfully, with the addition of CBD, meditation, and having a kickass support system, I was able to push through and regain my footing!

So, my lovely readers, I wanted you to know that the tight rope of balancing your brain can be excruciating but, once you get past it you will feel so much better. I read somewhere that medication is a pair a glasses for your brain, it fixes the chemical imbalance and can help you regain clarity. Now, I need to tell you that if those major side effects last longer than two weeks you need to visit your doctor and have your medication adjusted. Finding the right medication can take time but it is worth it once you find the perfect fit.

Regaining something you never realized you lost is a strange feeling. I did not realize I lost my creative stride and motivation again until a few days ago. A few months ago, you couldn’t even force me to sit and write. Now, I can write almost four thousand words a day again! Finding my perfect combination for my routine really helped me find myself again. Hopefully, if you are fighting your own mental battles, this post inspires you to take that next step. See the Doctor, cut the negativity out of your life, reach out to loved ones, or just get out of bed. I know you can regain your footing, if you need help or someone to talk to, reach out to me.

I will always be here for y’all!

🌻 Caitlin 🌻

Here is a photo of Bruce to help inspire you!

A Curious Update

How can so many changes occur of the course of a month? Journeys, breakdowns, and discoveries helped shape my creative course during the month of June! After seeing how many of y’all loved my personal musings about my battle with anxiety , I have decided to shake things up. Gone is the cookie cutter blog and I am going back to my roots by sharing my personal thoughts and struggles.

I also want to announce that I have a Facebook Page and a Patreon!

If you want to support me on Patreon you will gain access to some incredible writing content, photos of my animals, and you can even receive monthly postcards or packages from me!

Click here to go to my Patreon

Click here to go to my FaceBook Page

Can’t wait to share my writing with y’all!

🌻Caitlin🌻

I Am Not Okay

I am not okay, I finally  realized this after trying to deal with my mental health for the past 3-4 months. At first, I thought it was just stress from all of the issues happening in my personal life. I kept thinking it was going to get better, that I have to be strong for the ones I care about. It never got better, anxiety crept back in and depression swept me away. I was numb, tired, and all of the projects I had been working on simply fell apart. My writing suffered, my loved ones had to watch me fall apart, and I kept fighting my monsters alone.

Going to the doctor was something I feared but I knew seeking help was necessary if I wanted to regain my spark. Not going to lie, I cried at least four different times while telling my doctor what has been happening and she calmed me down before telling me it was going to be okay. The medication I was on is apparently notorious for failing to work in the long run. All I had to do was take the first dose of my new medication and it felt like  I could breathe. The feelings that had consumed me have been calmed and I could actually go to sleep without worrying about everything. I can’t wait to finally regain my spark, to be able to enjoy the world again, and finish my novel. It does get better, you just have to accept that you can’t fight this alone and to always monitor how effective your medicine is.

I guess I wrote this because so at least one person can learn that it is okay to not be okay. Medicine can fail, things change, and it is important to realize when you need help.  Also, I needed to explain why I dropped off the face of the Earth on here! I will keep you updated as I adjust to this new medication and hopefully I will be sharing some amazing content with y’all!

I hope y’all have an amazingly literary day,

Caitlin ❤️

P.S. If any of y’all are going through a tough spot in your life and need someone to talk to, just let me know so we can connect. You are not alone

5 Tips For Traveling With Anxiety

Back in 2018, I made a huge step towards conquering my anxiety when I traveled to Ireland and New York City! Traveling has always been something that causes an extreme amount of stress, so this was like a test to see just how much progress I have made since my major anxiety attack I had a few years ago. The trips were amazing and I am happy to say that I will be traveling again soon!


During my adventures I was able to figure out a few tips and tricks to help make the journeys less stressful on me and keep my anxiety from flaring up, which is why I decided to create this amazing post! If you suffer from anxiety and are looking for ways to travel safely and enjoy yourself, this post is for you!

Here are my 5 tips for traveling with anxiety:

1. Make sure to pack enough medication to last at least 20 days after the end date of your trip and keep it in your carry on!
Anything can happened on a trip and it bringing along extra medication ensures that you can handle any situation thrown your way. Keeping it in your carry on eliminates the extra stress of worrying about it being lost in your checked bag.

 2. Remember to keep your loved ones updated!
I found it helpful to call my parents or at least send them photos almost everyday. If your anxiety was acting up during the day, you can talk about it with your support system back home and hopefully help you relax more and keep your anxiety at bay.

3. Keep a few of your favorite podcasts, audiobooks, or songs on your phone/iPod!
Sometimes, the world can be a little too much to handle. If you are feeling overwhelmed while walking around a strange city, pop in your headphones and listen to a few of your favorite things! My personal go to is the My Favorite Murder Podcast, I love being able to tune out the anxiety by listening to my favorite podcasts, especially while I am stressed out on the plane.

4. Travel in a group!
You don’t have to travel alone, traveling with others can help you lose track of your anxiety and embrace the experience with friends. Traveling with friends or even making friends within a travel group can help you create a support group that you can turn to if your anxiety is having a severe flare up during your trip.

5. Remember to breathe!
Breathe, you are going on a trip that could change your life. Enjoy the experience and don’t let your anxiety flare up. When it starts to emerge , focus on the beautiful surroundings and the different people. Be proud of yourself, you managed to conquer your anxiety and leave your home to go on a grand adventure!

I hope these tips help calm your travel anxiety a bit. Traveling is a stressful process but just know that you can handle it! Seeing the world will help broaden your horizons and introduce you to new experiences, people, and allow you to create memories. Time to use these tips and leave your comfort zone!

Have a wonderfully literary day!
~Caitlin~

Guess Who is Back

Why, hello world!

It has been quite some time since I last posted on my lovely blog and I do apologize. Life has a way of pulling you in so many different directions! Thankfully, everything has settled back down and I can finally start posting on here again.

Before I announce some of the amazing content that is going to coming your way, I just wanted to share 10 amazing things I did during my brief break!

  1. I finally went to Ireland and embraced the emerald isle!
  2. I traveled to New York!
  3. I finally managed to visit the amazing Bookcon!
  4. I lost 20 pounds! *Happy Dance*
  5. I finally started to take better care of myself mentally and physically.
  6. I mended a friendship with one of my writing friends
  7. I rediscovered my love for writing
  8. I got bit by the travel bug and now want to go on more adventures (probably because of my successful adventures earlier this year)
  9. My creativity has finally come back to me and I am no longer wanting to be a couch potato!
  10. I finally ditched my self doubt and embraced my fearlessness!

Whoa, that list is full of some amazing things! I know there aren’t too many details but, that is because I will be creating travel blog posts and more amazing content so you can learn about how I traveled with my anxiety and embraced my fearless self! I apologize again for my absence but I am so excited to share all of my amazing adventures, book reviews, tips, and writing adventures with y’all!

 

To close this short and sweet post, I am going t share this quote by Alan Alda. I hope that all of my new content helps you along your own creative journey and I can’t wait to share my life with y’all!

 

Have a wonderfully literary day!

Caitlin


” Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been.”
Alan Alda

Resolutions, Goals, and Dreaming of 2018

The end of 2017 is approaching and now is the time to set resolutions and goals for the upcoming year. Surprisingly, 2017 has been incredible to me. I have written more than ever and I have completely turned my mental and physical health around. I am determined to continue making progress in 2018 and I hope that all of you do the same! I discuss my 2017 more in my post here~

2017

Now that my year in review is out of the way it is now time to plan for 2018. I am an optimist so I can’t help but have a ton of resolutions, goals, and dreams for the upcoming year. Setting resolutions is one thing but keeping up with them is a battle and I determined to actually stick to them while crushing my goals for 2018! I am not to going to lie, picking  resolutions for the next year was actually kind of difficult. I had to sit down and really think about what I planned to accomplish next year and how these resolutions will help me meet my goals and hopefully achieve my dreams.

2018 REsolutions

My 2018 Resolutions help make me continue my journey to becoming healthier and also try to keep me from becoming a hermit. I also decided to actually try to go on more adventures and make some amazing memories in 2018. I am positive that I can stick to my resolutions and crush my goals!

2018 Goals

Goals, goals, goals! I can’t wait to crush my goals and achieve my dreams. I decided to buckle down and work hard to achieve my dreams of publishing, traveling, and living a more creative life.

2018 Goals-3

Dreams are a lot harder to reach but I am determined to achieve at least one of my dreams in 2018!

Publishing a novel has been my dream for as long as I can remember. After crushing my 2017 word count goals, I am more determined than ever to publish one if not both of my novels by the end of 2018. It is quite the mouthful but I can handle it and I can’t wait to finally share my literary worlds with everyone.
Ireland is one of the places that I have always wanted to visit. My family’s ancestors are from there and I am in love with the mythology and fairy tales that are woven into the rich history of the country. I want to visit Ireland so I can appreciate where I came from and also visit one of the towns that I am writing about in my novel.
I have been wanting to see the Grand Canyon and since I live in Texas, the drive would be excruciatingly long. Going on an epic road trip has always been on my bucket list so I want to finally cross it off by going on a journey to the Grand Canyon.

I hope ya’ll enjoyed learning more about me and that you also decide to make 2018 your year. Chase those dreams, make those important lifestyle changes, and crush all of the obstacles that stand in your way. 2018 is the year for the dreamers and I can’t wait to see what the year has in store.

Have a wonderfully literary day and I will see all of you in the new year!

~Caitlin~

Holiday Reflection

The holiday season is full of love, celebration, and reflection.  I can’t help but realize just how blessed I am. I am surrounded by friends and family that support my writing career and mental health journey. If someone had told me six months ago that I would be in this amazing place in my life, I would have called them a liar.  I am honestly happy that I have let go of my toxic and negative past and have embraced the bright future in front of me. My best friend from childhood reconnected with me recently as well and for this first time in a long time I am actually happy with how my year has turned out.

So many wonderful things have happened over this past year including:

  1. I graduated college!
  2. I started medication that helped me manage my anxiety!
  3. I have written a good chunk of my pirate novel!
  4. I  started to take better care of myself!

It may not seem like a lot, but I feel like I have conquered so much this past year. If 2018 is anything like 2017 then I can honestly say I am ready for the new year. Sure, there were a lot of times where I honestly doubted myself. It can be hard to fight the feeling of doubt but I did and now I am ending this year on a positive note. When it comes to the holiday season, you can use this time to ignore your doubt and look around. You are surrounded by the people that love and care about you  and that can be the boost you need to break through that wall of doubt. If you are alone this holiday season just know that I am here for you. I am supportive of whatever your dreams and goals are and you are more than welcome to connect through comments below so we can have our own little literary tribe.

My Bookmas Tree
My Bookmas Tree

I am going to wrap this up now so I can get back to my little Christmas celebration! hope ya’ll have the happiest of holidays and keep an eye out for more posts in the future!

Enjoy this picture of my Bookmas Tree~

Have a wonderfully literary day!

~Caitlin

Progress

Hello World! 

It is hard to believe that it has been almost six whole months since I swallowed my pride and accepted the fact that I needed help for my anxiety. So much has changed in the last six months and I am so proud of myself for the insane amount of progress I have made. I feel like I can finally live again and not be controlled by constant worry, paranoia, or the  defensiveness that accompany anxiety. The people that I surround myself with now are positive and loving and that has made my journey a lot easier for me. Looking back at how certain events and friendships played out I feel like if I had figured out the anxiety situation sooner, then some of those events would have ended differently. That is life for you though! Can’t change the past but you can take control of your future! 

I guess I wanted to share this because I want y’all to know that it is ok to accept that you need help. Trust me, I was horrified at the thought of taking medication because I was afraid that I would lose my creativity. I know that is a silly fear but for me writing is everything, so the thought of losing the ability to create my literary worlds was terrifying. I realized after taking my medication that it does the opposite. By correcting the imbalance that caused my anxiety, I have been able to create, write, and adventure more because I am not shackled by my constant fear. All this progress would not have been possible if I did not decide that it was time to go see a doctor.

Six months and one medicine adjustment later and I can tell you that I defeated my anxiety dragon! Anxiety will always be a part of my life but I will no longer let it define me!
I hope y’all enjoyed my little update and I hope y’all have a wonderfully literary day!

~Caitlin~

Ending A Chapter

Hello World! 

   Yesterday, I had to make an important decision and end a friendship that had become toxic. The friendship I had to end was with my writing partner so the novel we worked on together will never be complete. I honestly wanted the friendship to work, but it had just become extremely unhealthy and there were so many other factors that made that friendship as bad as it was at the end. It sucks that it had to happen but at this point my mental health was more important than the friendship. Toxic friendships are the worst! You want it to work so badly but all it is actually doing is making you cry all the time while also  feeling like there is a weight constantly pressing against your chest  . As soon as  I ended it I felt like I could finally breathe again. It is a  bittersweet feeling because a cool friendship had to end but I honestly had to do what was best for me.

   I guess the message of this post is that it is okay to walk away. If you are in a friendship or relationship with someone and it is constantly bringing you down, then it is time to let go. No one is worth the unnecessary tears and stress. If it were healthy and they honestly cared then you wouldn’t be feeling the extreme amount of  negativity everytime you are around them. It may be hard at first but in the end you have to do what is best for you and let them go. Only then can you set yourself free and allow more positivity to flow into your life and writing.
Until Next Time Everyone!

~Caitlin